The Meanest Mum.

My mobile phone was ringing… well not really ringing. It was playing that irritating theme from Super Mario on the Super Nintendo… you know the one…

It was my eldest (as the ringtone had announced) so I was prepared for what was to come.

“Yes son?” I had to at least sound like I was curious right? I’ve got it down pat now.

“Muuuuuum, can you come and get me PUHLEEEEEZE!” He whined.

I looked out the window. It wasn’t raining. The sun was shining. There were no threatening storm clouds and it wasn’t even a humid or hot day. He was less than a kilometre away at the bus stop. He would have just alighted from his bus.

“Now what sort of mum would I be if I did that?” I teased him.
“A NICE one!” he yelled. “It’s your job!”
“Funny, I don’t think so,” I countered.  “My job is to teach you to be independent,”
I heard a deep sigh.
He chose to attend TaFE this year. His normal day last year for year 11 entailed a much longer walk each day to school and home again. The TaFE college is around 26 km away and involves a short walk and catching two buses with a changeover around halfway. This adds $25 to his weekly costs in fares even on a student concession. :p
My job is to provide him with what he needs. Not necessarily what he wants.
He did walk home but only after another two calls to plead his case. I was busy. He is capable.
Yes, I am the meanest mum in the world.
Lucky him.

The Meanest Mom In The World

We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different than other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s property, or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things other kids did. Sundays were reserved for church, and we never missed once. We knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays.
Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that’s what is wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean moms anymore.

written by Bobbie Pingaro (1967)


~ by C J on February 23, 2011.

%d bloggers like this: